72 — Lessons in Love

For two days John enjoyed continuing hospitality from Joan of Kent. At first John was concerned that, despite what she had said, Joan might be trying to seduce him. She quickly put his mind at rest, insisting that she was a reformed character totally committed to becoming the next Queen of England. She then demanded that John told her every detail of the time he had spent with Ximene. She listened carefully and then gave her point of view of the relationship.
‘Let me see now, She saved you life, she started sleeping with her, she joined in your exercise programme she fought with you, she teased you, she used the oil, she allowed you to fit her chains. I think we can assume that this lady is really in love with you. And now what did you initiate John?”
‘The training?
“No! that was for you not for her’
‘I massaged myself with oil’
“At her suggestion?’
“ I taught her to cook’
‘ Wonderful!’
‘I threatened to tie her to the bed’
‘Ah! Before or after you tore her clothes off and whipped her’
‘Before’
‘And did she let you do it?’
‘ Well she didn’t say no but it suddenly seemed unnecessary’
Joan shook her head.
‘Before or after she allowed you to fit the chains’
‘Before’
“Quite’
‘I compose poems in praise of Ximene.’
Joan’s head jerked back. Her eyes wide open.
“Do you indeed! And where did you learn to do that?’
John told her about the first night with Lady Eleanor and the tuition at Foix.
Joan’s face was totally non committal.

‘Right!” Joan had obviously heard enough. She led him to the small lounge with the large fire.
‘Let’s start at the beginning. Being in love with someone is supposed to be fun!
Flirtation is a big part of that. Women like to be seduced, particularly when they are with a man they trust, so that if they say no…’ she hesitated ‘Say no firmly enough, they know they will be obeyed’
She eyed John, her eyes shining with mischief. “ From what I gather you fulfil the latter requirement.’ Her eylashes fluttered.
‘But when you meet again you must seduce her. Incidentally I don’t personally subscribe to too much troubadour activity, unless you are really, really good at it. Hire a troubadour occasionally if you must!’
She held her hands out towards him.
‘We really cannot do this with you sat at the other side of the room! Come and join me on this couch.’
John walked across the room and sat on the couch but as far away from Joan as he possibly could. She eyed him with disapproval.
‘You must take the initiative John. You must be inventive’
John smiled. ‘How? In what?
“All women are different and one of the skills you have to develop is how to discover those preferences, but you must make it fun!”
‘Lady Eleanor seemed to believe that it was the responsibility of both partners to simply tell their partner what the want or like’
Joan looked impatient.
‘I have spoken to Lady Eleanor myself. She is ready to become a perfect! She treats lovemaking as though it is an academic exercise. It is supposed to be fun!
‘So what must I do’
‘Games are good. Dice, where the penalty for winning or loosing is to give away a kiss or a caress; do you know Perudo? The possibilities are endless! Cards, where the looser must remove a piece of clothing. The penalties can be changed; can progress as your partner gives tacit approval. Make the progression slow, so that your partner has time to imagine in advance what the penalties at the next level might be! ’
John looked thoughtful ‘Oh!’
‘Role playing is also good.’ She groaned
“We can’t do this in words! I am just going to have to show you.’
Her eylashes fluttered.
“Now this will be fun’
Joan tried to impart everything she knew about how to please women.
She was a skilled teacher. She gave frequent summaries and set John tests of inventiveness. She lived up to her promise! It really was fun! John laughed more in those two days than he had in the rest of his life!

The most dangerous woman in the world

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